A Doctor Visit Horror!

Rising blood pressure

Long wait in the lobby

To pass time a nice keurig coffee selection

Beats Starbucks

The call came in

Hunting for a non-existent vein for blood work

Waiting again in the sub area

Nurse checking my vitals

Afraid to be sent right to the hospital next door

Taking to the  exam room

Waiting again

How you feeling she asks?

Must be feeling great to be in here really

Next stop scheduling desk

Making sure  scheduled for the right procedure

Trip to the pharmacy

Picking up not sure what and why

Oh my

Pharmacist suggesting writing a prescription

To make sure if I stop breathing

A nasal spray will be needed

Followed by a 911 call

Would I know I stopped breathing?

Needless to say

Walked out without this prescription

A trip back to the doctor is needed

Might be safer to stay home

With a trip to Starbucks instead

thermometer

 

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Confusion, Chaos, and Chocolate !

New year, I thought

Should be a breeze

Peace of mind

A fresh start

A visit to my favorite doctor

Whom I really really like

Might even  have a crush on him

Or is it a side effect

In a flash, all changed

Started at the front desk

Oh my

New staff

New insurance

No problem

Front desk girl grumbled

I see you are on your husband’s policy

I am not married, I retorted

Who is this husband, I asked

I cannot divulge, the fool responded

I insisted I need to know his name

Sorry, she repeated

HIPAA, HIPPO, HIPPY

Not so sure what I heard

Am I losing my mind

Or is it a side effect

Then whisked away

Routine blood test

Rough looking tech

Poking, probing aggressively

Enough, I said

I earned those chocolate truffles

Right there

Calling my name

In the cozy little break room

Between the lab and

Door to freedom

chaos

Contagiously Courageous!

A setback that landed me in the ICU incidentally led me on the path to Dr.C.
Dr. C, the amazing oncologist whose calm demeanor somehow reassured me that I’m in good hands.
I had no fear.
I somehow knew I was going to get better, with his guidance.
The only way I can describe it is like a messenger was sent to give me hope.
I was willing to try anything Doctor C. recommended.
And I did.
My trust in this doctor and his continuous encouragement at my lowest low, along with his belief in me, helped me realize that there is a greater force out there.
More powerful than fear.
More formidable than weakness.
More prominent than self-doubt.
This journey I had embarked on was indeed an enlightening and spiritual passage.
The power of family, friendship and prayers guided me through that journey.

By the grace of God, I found rejuvenation and the healing has begun.

Simply the Best Job Yet!

A little over a year ago, I received a grim cancer diagnosis from Dr H.

This particular surgeon looked far too frail and unsteady to be in a kitchen slicing tomatoes, let alone performing an intricate surgery.

I just wanted out of there.

Then I had the privilege of meeting Dr K, an oncologist with the bedside manner of a boorish oaf.

Dr K. informed me that all the prayers in the world wouldn’t be enough to save me.

He also made it clear that I could go to 100 different doctors, and they would all confirm this.

At that point, I was not fearing cancer as much as being “treated” by these two doctors.

So out the door I went, thinking of all the other possibilities that surely must exist.

After trying a little of this and some of that, I was doing fairly well.

I had taken total charge of my personal health, while doing my best to reduce the level of stress in my life, and even taking an extended time off from work.

I became my own full-time job.

It was the best job I ever had.

Reconnecting with myself.

Finally becoming Number One.

Hospital Unruly Rules

Here’s a good rule of thumb:

Stay away from hospitals.

Far, far away.

You’ve got to love some of these doctors.

From the impressively competent to the downright scary last-in-their-graduating-class type of underachievers, there’s one doctor who stands out among all the others.

With a talent unparalleled, Dr. M was truly a character.

From the second he would enter a room, he always managed to create chaos.

Prior to a scheduled procedure, he came by to start setting up.

A second later, my freshly delivered fettucine alfredo lunch tray was airborne.

It splattered and clattered to the floor.

The overturned tray, utensils, and all.

Well, so much for lunch.

Dr. M profusely apologized, then dropped to his hands and knees to attend to the disaster he’d just created.

All I know is I wasn’t about to eat that crap after it had rolled all over the hospital germ-infested floor.

My appetite effectively gone, I watched carefully to make sure he thoroughly washed and sanitized his hands before performing the procedure.

For a supposedly minor procedure that should’ve been done and over with in 15 minutes, his sheer incompetence turned it into a horrifying ordeal that lasted over two hours.

I thought I died and went to…

Well, someplace that sure didn’t resemble my idea of what heaven would look like.

And then I opened my eyes.

Oh no.

That jerk was still standing there.

And this time, he was holding a manual.

Was this for real?

Please help.

Anybody, just help.

My son in-law walked in at that moment, and didn’t realize this dimwit was actually a so-called medical professional.

Maybe I would wake up and find that it was all a dream.

But no.

Dr. M was still there, this time with a YouTube video pulled up on his cell phone, showing my daughter and son in-law how to perform the intricate maintenance procedure once I’m released to go home.

If I’m lucky enough to make it home at all, at this rate.

The next day, the misfit showed up again with a packet of papers.

And guess what happened next?

That’s right, the entire stack of papers somehow managed to fly out of his hands and onto the floor like a heap of confetti.

Only without any occasion to be celebrating.

Even Dr. M had to admit that things always seemed to go wrong whenever he was around.

God have mercy.